Problems - Take a fucking look at yourself.

Problems:

1. I'm fat

2. I eat shit

3. I smoke

4. I smoke to much pot

5. I do nothing

6. I have no hobbies

7. I have no drive to do anything

These are my fucking problems. These are why I don't give a shit. If you ask me what I'm doing next week the answer is always fucking nothing. Who wants to date this? who wants to hang out with this? who wants anything to do with this? No one. I have to get my shit together.  I just have to get on something and go. Fuck it, why not. I'm out of weed anyways.

Here and now.

I met a girl off the internet who lived around the block. She was so pretty she made me want to explode. The fact that someone so hot, pretty, nice and sweet could ever love someone so dark and full of hate. In my soul I know the reason could never be to gather. You are the sun and I am the mood. You are all that is good, worm and sweet. I am the darkness. I am the evil that will fall over the world. Every day I miss you. I want to kill myself and contact you every day. Rebuilding after you is the hardest thing I have ever done. The time I had with you was the best time in my life.. you just can't mix the light and the dark forever.
 


This is what my life has become. The fast way down into the ground. I have no want to do anything. I truly don't care about anything. Not myself, not my social life, not my well being - nothing. 

So in this state how in the fuck do I pull up myself up and fly? I have no fucking idea. This blog is dedicated to myself.  I run complex computer networks, people and processes every day and yet I can not keep my simple life together for the life of me. Once I get off the clock I don't give a fucking shit about anything. It's time to change that. I  can't just keep smoking, getting high and fucking randoms off the Internet.